Funjabi Jokes - Punjabi

A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other. “Now listen here,” the policeman said, “Whatever yo do to that poor, defenceless creature I shall personally do to you” “In that case,” said the boy, “I’ll kiss it’s butt and let it go” During an English lesson, the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to him. Teacher:Pappu, join these two sentences together. I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body. Pappu: (thinking for a while) I saw a dead body cycling to school. Customer: Mujhe phone per dhamkiya mill rahi hai. Police: Kaun hai woh jo aapko dhamkiya de raha hai? Customer: Telephone wale bolte hai ke, “Bill nahi bharoge toh kaat denge.” Beta papa se: Papa main itna bada kab ho jaunga ki mummy se bina poochey ghar se bahar ja sakoo. Papa thandi saans lete hue: Beta, itna bada toh abhi main bhi nahi hua hoon. TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you’re wearing, one is green

Manager: “Do you know anything about this fax-machine?” Staff: “A little. What’s wrong sir?” Manager: “Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened.” Staff: “How did you load the sheet?” Manager: “I didn’t want anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient would open it and read it.” A School Master from a remote rural area in Bihar was transferred to a new Schoolin Mumbai. He reported for duty two days after the actual date of joining. Consequently he was asked for an explanation in writing… A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked, “Why weren’t you successful with the Arabs?” The salesman explained, “When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will makes a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn’t know to speak Arabic. So,

A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other. “Now listen here,” the policeman said, “Whatever yo do to that poor, defenceless creature I shall personally do to you” “In that case,” said the boy, “I’ll kiss it’s butt and let it go” During an English lesson, the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to him. Teacher:Pappu, join these two sentences together. I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body. Pappu: (thinking for a while) I saw a dead body cycling to school. Customer: Mujhe phone per dhamkiya mill rahi hai. Police: Kaun hai woh jo aapko dhamkiya de raha hai? Customer: Telephone wale bolte hai ke, “Bill nahi bharoge toh kaat denge.” Beta papa se: Papa main itna bada kab ho jaunga ki mummy se bina poochey ghar se bahar ja sakoo. Papa thandi saans lete hue: Beta, itna bada toh abhi main bhi nahi hua hoon. TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you’re wearing, one is green

What did one hat say to the other? You wait here — I'll go on ahead! Why don't the circus lions eat the clowns? Because they taste funny! What did the pirate say when he turned 80? "Aye matey." Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide! Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage! Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field! Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero! What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill! Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well! What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta! What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!” How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder! What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint! What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very he